Have you ever had a time where you just have to step back.....look around.....and wonder how you got to this place in your life? Well, that was today for me. Late to school, breezed through exams (and when I say breeze, I don't mean 'breeze' like they're so easy, I mean 'breeze' like I couldn't care less), learned I made the All-State team for football, attempted to shop for Christmas gifts , and now I'm just sitting here. You might say, 'Well that seems like a pretty good life to me.' And it is. I'm just not satisfied. First of all, being late really ticked me off today. Usually I don't care at all, but it just made me mad that I couldn't get to school on time. Why couldn't I have been one of those OCD neat-freak responsible people? Instead I'm an irresponsible, never-punctual, apathetic person. Then, there's the issue of not caring about exams. If I had studied for 30 seconds, I probably would've done better. But no.......I just sat around the house last night, wanting something to do. I want to shake myself and say, "STUDY! For the love of your future, STUDY JUST ONCE!" But I think I've gagged that part of me and locked him in a closet. I made All-State. Yay. So I'm a mediocre player who is receiving recognition. Seriously, I can think of 10 people on MY TEAM, much less in the state, that should've made it before me. But people--the same people that say "Sports isn't everything"--get fired up when they hear the news. Who friggin' cares? Then I went to the mall. I hate the mall. I hate the mall at Christmas time. I love Christmas. I hate shopping for Christmas presents. Because that's not what it's about. I mean, I love getting people presents that I know they're going to like. But if I can't find you anything, why is it not appropriate to just sit out a year? I mean, enjoy my company and let's have some hot chocolate. Christmas is about Christ, at least that's what I've been told. But no one believes that! Shopping for my girlfriend is a living hell. She's coming to visit me right before Christmas, so I'm going to be spending a lot of money on us doing stuff every night. But of course I'm expected to get her something. If I didn't she would say "Oh I understand" but inside would be wondering whether I'm just stupid for not buying her a present, or really cheap and figured a card will do. grrrrrrrr.